Category: Humor

AWS CDK – Proposed Slogans

Ilya SherLeave a comment

Below, despite the humor, is my honest praise to the AWS CDK team and the product.

  1. Finally bringing code into “infrastructure as code”
    (sorry Puppet, Ansible, CloudFormation, SAM, Terraform)
  2. The only team at AWS that actually cares about your experience
  3. Suffer much less
  4. No more dealing with IAM policies anymore*
    * almost
  5. Did you know that CodePipeline actually requires an S3 bucket to work?
  6. CloudFormation? Ye, nice intermediate representation, you know, like assembler with macros.
  7. Making interaction with AWS bearable
    (I would say “again” but it never was)
  8. So right on so many levels
  9. Cloud – it doesn’t have to be ugly
  10. CDK – Cool Developers Know
  11. Isolating you from the ugly
  12. We ate the shit so you wouldn’t have to*
    * mostly
  13. Don’t Look Up^W at the generated CloudFormation

Have a nice day!

Running Elegant bash on Simple Kubernetes (Rant)

Ilya SherLeave a comment

I was triggered by seeing “elegant” and “bash” in the same sentence. Here are the titles I suggest the original author to consider for next blog posts:

  1. Guide to Expressive Assembler
  2. Removing Types from Scala
  3. Adding Exceptions to Go
  4. Introduction to Concise Java
  5. Writing Synchronous JavaScript with Threads
  6. Using Forth Without the Stack
  7. Adding Curly Braces to Python
  8. Making Guido Like Functional Programming
  9. Using Uniform AWS APIs
  10. Writing Safe big C Programs
  11. Making C Higher Level Language than Portable Assembler
  12. Making your Database Stateless
  13. Making Eventual Consistency Immediate
  14. How to Know that Backups are Working Without Doing Test Recovery
  15. Finding Quality Code on Random Internet Sites
  16. All Programming Languages are Beautiful (Illustrated)
  17. Writing Bug-Free Code that does not Need Reviews
  18. Learning Modern C++ in 3 Easy Steps in 2 Days
  19. Stopping Hype Around Kubernetes – Practical Guide
  20. Preventing Appearance of new JavaScript Frameworks
  21. Why node_modules is not a Dumpster
  22. Removing Most of the Syntax from Perl
  23. Understanding Monads in 10 Minutes
  24. How to Stop Debates and Fighting around OSS Licensing with 1 Month
  25. Replacing bash in Next 20 Years

P.S. I’m still using bash at some places. Sadly, it’s still the most appropriate solution in some cases, like we live in 90’s.

Winning executives team

Ilya SherLeave a comment

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Brought to you by most trendy positions. You may recognize some of them at your work. Say hello!

  1. VP Downtime
  2. VP Broken Builds
  3. VP Lost Leads
  4. VP Ugly Sites
  5. VP Mediocrity and Disempowering
  6. VP Over-Complication Because it’s Cool
  7. VP of Sales Prevention
  8. VP of Successful Penetration
  9. VP Wrong Solutions
  10. Project Failure Architect
  11. Chief Titles Manager
  12. Chief Hype Evangelist
  13. Chief External Dependencies Promoter
  14. Chief Next Trendy Language Adopter
  15. Chief Instances Killer
  16. Chief Budget Overrun Manager
  17. Chief Miscommunication Advocate
  18. Chief Technical Debt Accumulation Promoter
  19. New shiny technologies Team Leader
  20. Misused Frameworks Manager

Some of the entries were contributed by VPs from beame.io

You are very welcome to extend this list in your comments.